How To Use Self-Amusement To Attract Women
Have you ever had one of those “on” nights where everything you said and did resulted in attraction from women? You felt on top of the world!
Now, on the flip side, have you ever had one of those “bad nights” where women responded negatively and even rejected you?
Your “state” went down and you felt deflated and negative. You may have even sat at the corner table, away from all the nasty women.
So why are some nights great, and other nights terrible? Is it the club, the women, the music, other guys? What makes the difference?
The reason we experience these roller coaster of positive and negative reactions from women, is because of our approval seeking behaviour.
Seeking approval is when you do and say things with the intention of making people like you. You’re trying to impress people. You’re only giving yourself permission to feel good when people respond positively to you.
But if people react negatively or disagree with you, you feel bad. Ultimately, everyone else is in control of your state and your emotions. But not you!
If you’ve ever done something, then waited to see how people around you responded, then you were seeking approval.
Self amusement is the opposite of seeking approval. It’s when you don’t give a F%$#k what other people think. You do what you want because it amuses one person … YOU!
You’re not looking for approval from anybody else. You’re doing and saying what you think is funny. You’re having a great time, making yourself laugh, and boosting your own state.
Now, this doesn’t mean you walk around acting like a jerk. Your intention is not to offend anyone else. Your goal is to amuse yourself!
Self amusement is extremely attractive to women for a few reasons:
1). You don’t care what she thinks.
2). You’re the life of the party (read: social proof)
3). You’re in a fun, playful and excited mood.
4.) She feels effected by your fun, playful energy. She starts to feel great, too!
Let me tell you about my experience with self amusement last Saturday night at one of Sydney’s hottest night clubs.
It was during our night time boot camp, and the student asked me to approach a group of women with him. He wanted me to distract the friends, so he could isolate and focus on the woman he was interested in.
Several minutes into the conversation, one of the women said the word “babies” to one of her friends. So I responded with …
ME: “Did you say you want babies?
HER: “Umm, I dunno”.
ME: “You want to eat babies or make babies?”
HER: “Ha ha, make babies!”
ME: “Look, I can’t guarantee you babies, but we can try making them!”
(whole group) “ha ha ha!”
HER: “I’ve just met you and now we’re making babies!”
ME: “Yes, and everyone at the table has to watch!”
HER: “ha ha ha!”
ME: “But first we have to get married in Vegas. I need to make an honest woman out of you. But don’t worry, you’re ALL INVITED!”
(whole group) “yay!”
So what happened here? Let me start by saying I didn’t plan this. I did not read this in some pua book. This is not a routine. And if you memorise this and repeat it to women in some club – IT WON’T WORK!
That’s because there are three important elements that make self amusement work. Repeat after me …
1.) self amusement must be spontaneous!
2.) self amusement must be your own personal humour!
3.) self amusement must be funny and make you laugh!
Let me explain my own personal style of humour …
One way is to purposefully misunderstand what a woman is saying as something overly sexual (see conversation example above). It’s the old frame of “are you hitting on me?”
I also enjoy self-depreciating humour. So if a woman asks me what I do for a living, I might tell her I clean toilets, or drive buses. If she asks me where I am from, I tell her “the peoples republic of Congo”.
Or I’ll purposefully embarrass my wing men. While they’re talking to a hot woman, I’ll interrupt them with a pat on the shoulder while pretending to whisper, “excuse me Tom, your shift isn’t over yet. Would you mind cleaning out the toilets before you go please?” This is hilarious!
Remember, the more fun you have, the more attracted women will be to you. Stop trying to impress women or make them like you. It won’t work and women will sense that you are trying to “get something” from them.
Self amusement is simply a great way to be the life of the party and attract women at the same time.
Attract Women By Breaking Rapport
Breaking Rapport To Attract More Women
She is a stunning blonde sitting alone at the bar. The first guy, let’s call him Adam, approaches her and starts a conversation. Things go well, and eventually he asks her “so, what do you do for a living?” She responds “I’m a nurse”.
Adam responds “Oh wow, sexy and caring, that’s great” then continues with “you know, nurses don’t get paid enough for all the hard work you do”.
Adam is attempting to build rapport. He wants her to like him. He has paid her a compliment and has shown empathy about her job. As the conversation continues, he will probably agree with everything she says, even if he believes the opposite.
Now another guy, John, enters the bar and approaches her. After a few minutes of conversation, he asks her the same question “what do you do for a living?” and she answers “I’m a nurse”. But his response totally throws her off …
“A nurse? Does that mean you like washing old people’s bottoms?” she looks at him, with a surprised look on her face. She can’t believe what he just said, and playfully slaps him on the arm. She begins to qualify herself, explaining that her job does not involve washing anyone’s bottoms.
As the conversation continues, John playfully challenges some of the things she says. He is never rude. He never *negs* or intentionally offends her.
She becomes curious about him, wondering why he is acting different to all the other guys. She actually enjoys the conversation more, because she is taken on an emotional rollercoaster ride. She is kept on her toes, wondering if he likes her or not, and guessing what he will say next.
Most attractive women are used to men trying to build rapport with them. It’s a very boring conversation when someone agrees with everything you say.
However, when you break rapport by disagreeing or playfully challenging her, you stand out from all the other guys who attempt to build rapport with her.
Think about it. This is what high value men or “bad boys” do. They challenge women with their own opinions and beliefs. They don’t put attractive women on a pedestal. Instead, they make fun of them, whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Here are some examples of breaking rapport …
HER: “I love olives”.
YOU: “Really? I think olives taste like rubber”
HER: “Will you buy me a drink?”
YOU: “I don’t know you well enough yet. Tell me about yourself …”
HER: “Have you seen the new Brad Pitt movie?”
YOU: “Why would I? Brad Pitt is gay.”
Another way of breaking rapport is using self-depreciating humour. It’s especially powerful when women attempt to build rapport with you. You’re not accepting her indicators of interest too easily. You’re more of a challenge.
HER: “Lets go dance”
YOU: “No thanks. I dance like a retard”.
HER: “What are you doing on Saturday night?”
YOU: “Probably playing World of Warcraft with my buddies online”.
HER: “How old are you?”
YOU: “What’s with all of the questions? Are you a cop or something?”
Another easy way of breaking rapport is to focus your attention on something or somebody else, for a while. In the middle of conversation with a woman, you may shift your focus to her friend (or your friend) and ask them a random question.
Or you may interrupt her mid conversation, because you suddenly noticed a fascinating painting, object, or event nearby. Give that “thing” all of your attention and make comments about it.
She wonders why, unlike other guys, you are not giving her your full attention. You seem less needy and appear to have higher value.
Breaking rapport is a powerful way of demonstrating that you’re an attractive, high value man with your own opinions and interests, other than her.
JACK AUTHOR BIO
Jack is the co-founder of Succeed At Dating and a superstar at day game.
The art of meeting and attracting women in the daytime. Jack
offers live, in-field training workshops at DayGameSecrets.com
Approaching Women and Attracting Women In Bars & Clubs – Full Video Interview Valued At $97
Filed under: approach women, Attracting Women, pick up artist
Interview Part 1
This is a two part video program I created for my subscribers on “Approaching Women In Bars”. It’s split into two interviews each around 30 minutes long. This program was going to retail for $97 however we’re giving it away to my subscribers free of charge.
Interview Part 2
Enjoy
To your success
Alex
New Attract Women Courses In Sydney and Surfers Paradise
Filed under: approach women, Attracting Women, confidence with women, pick up artist
Hey guys,
Okay over the last few years I’ve had a training course on approaching and attracting women in Australia.
Check it out here
Attract Women Bootcamps
We’ve just revamped the website and updates the cities in which we coach in. The new cities are Sydney and Surfers Paradise for now. New cities will be added in the future. Attract Women Bootcamps™ covers everything stage from overcoming approach anxiety, attracting women through stories, getting dates and phone numbers and more. These courses are based in Australia for now, maybe in the future we will have international coaching.
Check it out here
Attract Women Bootcamps
We have had some great reviews from our clients (be sure to check out the reviews page). Most guys attending have approach anxiety challenges i.e fear of rejection which most guys overcome on the first night after a few hours of approaching. We do practice drills and role playing exercises with students to ensure you’re competent and confident for practicing on women.
David Deangelo, Neil Strauss and Mystery Dance Off – Cool Video : )
Filed under: approach women, Attracting Women, pick up artist, talk to women
Happy Halloween fellas. Someone sent me this video as a joke and found it hilarious so I want to share it here. It features Neil Strauss, David Deangelo, and Mystery .. oh and myself.
Approaching Women Tips – New Video From Zoe
General Outline Of The Video:
Be an opportunist: If a girl is at a martini bar and buying herself a drink (travesty)…then take that opportunity to ask her what kind of martini she likes. She could say, I like it dirty, oh what an opportunity. Or if you’re at a sports bar and sitting within talking distance of a girl ask her who she’s routing for. Just ask a question. You could even ask what her name is and start a convo, but please do not drop one-liners.
Talk to us like we’re your ‘best friend’: You know that mind-set when you’re most comfortable. Feat kicked up laughing and being silly with your bestie. That’s the guy we want to see. We want to connect, have a conversation….relax and have fun. So be yourself. Sounds cliche but it’s true.
Be carefree: Don’t worry if you’ve got wing sauce on your face or if we won’t laugh at your jokes. It’s not life or death and you learn by trial and error. So let your guard down and stop being a pansy.
How To Attract Women – Advice From A Woman
Filed under: approach women, Attracting Women, confidence with women
This is the second video she made for me. If you haven’t seen the first click here.
I’m always interested in what our opposites think of “the game” and the methods it employs.
General outline of the video:
Smile.
Happy people are considered more attractive. Nothing is more attractive to a quality girl than a guy who isn’t afraid to cheese it.
Be a freegin challenge.
For God sake if I could give one piece of advice to every guy, girls say they want a man to fall at our feet and kiss the ground we walk on, but we DON’T. Now this can be tricky…because we do still want you to say how cute we are in the morning and how adorable our reading glasses are. We want you to open doors and leave great tips when you take us out to dinner. Yes, we want flowers….always. But we want you to have your own LIFE. Have your own hobbies, interests, opinions, disagreements, friends, ‘guys night’, etc, etc. Which leads me into the next tip.
Don’t always be available:
Especially in the beginning. Don’t be obvious either. Like the no call until days after I gave my number, the chances of me answering that call; zero. But if we’ve started seeing each other and I ask if you’re free tomorrow night, the answer is no. Even if you’re sitting around scratching your balls and watching football all day. You tell her you’ve got a slammed packed day full of ‘insert cool stuff’ to do. Such as, take your nephew to a little league game and then grab a beer with your dad. Quality women love family and we love a guy who’s family oriented. But you could say anything really, just as long as you’re not at her beck and call.
Warmly,
Alex
Attracting Women Advice – From a Woman?
I noticed this girl online that made videos like ME? I was thinking wow another dating video vlogger. So I got in contact with her and asked her to make me a super short video on 3 quick tips she can throw to my readers on “the game”. So here it is. I only asked her to make two videos so if you like them let me know and I’ll ask her to make some more.
Warmly,
Alex
Attracting Women In Supermarkets- How I “Pushed” Myself To Do More Approaches
Okay so for this video I reveal how I overcame a huge stepping stone to meeting women. GO OUT and IMMERSE yourself in the places where you would like to approach women thereby FORCING yourself to do the approaches. Supermarkets, grocery stores, shopping centers, parks, streets etc you name them, you can do it!.. Just force yourself in these scenarios on a daily basis and you’ll eventually do an approach.
Oh and here is how to START conversations with women in supermarkets
http://www.succeedatdating.com/blog/articles/how-to-pick-up-women-in-supermarkets/
PUA Training – Gambler aka Richard La Ruina and Alex Coulson
Hey Guys!
Recently, while visiting London on holidays, I got a call
from this “weird” guy named Richard La Ruina.
He wanted to interview me on VIDEO.
Now, I had never met Richard before. Sure, we talked on the phone many times before, but we had never met in person.
Don’t get me wrong, Richard is a super-cool guy who is very successful with women, (and his students get great results too).
I just felt WEIRD meeting him the first time.
So I enter Richards apartment and sit on the couch with him. There is a video camera pointing in our direction. I agree to the interview and then …
Richard spends the next 40 MINUTES absolutely grilling me to reveal every single tip, technique, and secret I know about “DAY GAME”.
And you can watch the video here for FREE:
http://succeedatdating.com/puatraining/
By the end of the recording, I was utterly exhausted from talking. I wanted to sleep on his couch!
FREE VIDEO: (nothing to buy folks!)
http://succeedatdating.com/puatraining/
Talk Soon,
Alex Coulson
PS. This really is a great interview with lots of FREE content. Nothing to buy. Just lots of great advice.
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